I woke up last night at like 4 in the morning, and had that wierd feeling like i was being watched. You know what i'm talking about?

I'd recently begun sleeping with my window open because it's been so nice out in the evenings, and the curtains were gently blowing off the sill from the breeze outside. Their dark red fabric cast an eerie glow in the room and i was starting to freak myself out.

(Remember; i'm still in a groggy half-asleep state.) I began to imagine that i just before i had woken up, i was returned to my bed by aliens that had spirited me away in the middle of the night. Performing tests on me, probing me, examining me. But then i farted and it was vile. I began to chuckle to myself, alone in my dark room. I had drank a lot last night and i was laughing that all the booze in my bloodstream and the deadly fumes coming out of me would have ruined any of the tests that they had performed. I laughed myself back to sleep.

When i woke up, i had a song stuck in my head.

Hopefully, now, it's stuck in yours.
(Thanks to Clarity for instructions on how to do this.)

** 5 Things **

I got hit by DK to do this:

10 years ago: I was going to school, taking Criminal Justice courses in the hopes of being a cop, and successfully persuading my girlfriend that I would not leave her now that I had turned 21 and was able to go to bars while she would have to stay home.

5 years ago: I was living in a pigsty bachelor pad, drowning sorrows of an all too recent break up with way too much booze. 1 year away from a valuable lesson in drinking and driving. But I started a new job and things were beginning to look up.

1 year ago: I'd successfully paid off ALL my unsecured debt, and was living with my cousin and brother in a little house in HB. Still at the same job, thinking of taking up surfing. Looking for a new girlfriend.

Yesterday: I made a pizza, drank the rest of the beer in the fridge and watch baseball. Also got word that there is a new position opening up that my manager's manager called me into his office to ask if I was interested in said position. (I flipped him off and said, "No, I want YOUR job.")(just kidding).

5 snacks I enjoy are: 1) string cheese. 2) Ho-ho’s 3) Oatmeal Creme Pies 4) Coke 5) Chex Mix

5 songs I know all the words to: 1) All the old Iron Maiden 2) Hey Nonny Nonny 3) Please Come to Boston 4) Diamonds and Rust 5) Throw Your Arms Around Me

5 things I would do with $100 million: 1) Buy a large boat 2) Fill it with Booze and Food 3) Put some 25-33 year old chicks on it 4) Sail to Australia 5) Stopping on deserted tropical isles to "frolick"

5 places I would run away to: 1) New Jersey (just kidding) 2) Germany 3) Maldives 4) San Diego 5) Candyland

5 things I would never wear: 1) Speedo 2) Nose Ring 3) Rolex 4) Fuck Me Boots 5) Tampon

5 favourite TV shows: 1) West Wing 2) X-Files 3) Lost 4) Firefly 5) Science Channel

5 biggest joys: 1) Boobs 2) Bourbon 3) Friends 4) Beach 5) Astronomy

5 favourite toys: 1) Boobs 2) Telescope 3) Jeep 4) Matchbox Cars 5) M.A.S.K.

5 people I tag to do this: Clarity, Kristin, Tanya, Pete, Trey

posted by Rik at 11:17 - 0 comments

Sorry i haven't written in a while. It was kind of a busy week. I attended a funeral on Wednesday and a Wedding on Sunday. It was hot at both places.

You know what i love/hate about weddings? The fact that all the hot chicks there are taken. Lots of guys really don't care, but i do. This matters to me. Some of my friends (including the women) say things like, "Who cares if she's got a boyfriend, go talk to her." I don't understand this mentality. "I care."

Is it just me that thinks this way? If i get some chick with a boyfriend to you know or even break up with her boyfriend and date me... i just don't see the logic in assuming she'll be faithful to me. Plus, i don't believe in fate, or destiny, but KARMA is different. Things do come around to bite you in the ass. I believe that. So why would i want be the one who causes this indiscretion? Don't you think if you know he/she is married, you're guilty of adultry too?

So anyway, yeah, no cute single chicks at the wedding. I gotta find different friends. Most of these ones are going to have little replicas running around soon anyway, that i'll either step on or get tricked into taking to soccer practice. Besides if i end up killing one, i don't just go to jail. It's not like killing your own right? It's looked even downer upon, right?

I lost my glasses after the wedding too. But i woke up in my own bed...alone...so it must not have been THAT great of a reception.

Oh yeah, my girlfriend (not that kind of gf) is telling me to tell you that it had lots of flowers and pretty fyushia dresses...(she says it's fuchsia)...and that it overlooked the harbor, sunny, beautiful, blah, blah. I remember it being hot and drunk. And there was a chocolate fountain. mmmmmmmm

posted by Rik at 16:51 - 0 comments

Last night the Perseid Meteor Shower dropped by for it's annual visit. I, therefore, dutifully set my alarm to wake up around 1am and went to bed a little early to compensate for the hour or two of sleep that i'd miss.
I was woken by the gentle sound of Huey Lewis begging me for some drugs. Unfortunately, i used them all last weekend, and i don't get paid until Friday. I'm kidding...i get paid on the 15th.

So i drag my getting fatter ass out of bed and head to the living room, when i notice that someone must have bought a cat sometime after i went to bed, because it pissed in my mouth. I needed some water. Don't you love a glass of cold water in the middle of the night? How it washes out that septic smell/taste of bourbon from your pallet? mmmmmmmm H²O (I know it's supposed to go on the bottom, i looked, it wasn't there.) It's the simple things in life...

After my lovely glass of water i headed back to bed and was stopped in the hallway by a small voice. "Munkie. The meteor shower." Ooh, the meteor shower! I almost forgot, thanks brain. Our sliding door to the back patio doesn't work well. It's loud. Very loud. Especially at 1am. I hate our sliding door. I heard a comedian once (don't remember who) that said, "How come you can go up the stairs in ice skates during the day and not a soul will notice, but that creak on the stairs when you're trying to sneak back into the house in the middle of the night, is as loud as a sonic boom." (or something like that) I ALWAYS think of ice skates on the stairs when i'm walking around in the middle of the night. ALWAYS.

So yeah, with the sliding door opened i stepped out and looked up to see the show, and almost immediately, my mouth dropped open, i was dumb-struck. The ENTIRE sky was covered. Simply covered...in clouds. So i went back to bed.

posted by Rik at 09:09 - 0 comments

I have a new pet at my house. Well, pet is not really the right word. She's kind of adopted our house as her own. I've named her Susan, and she is the most beautiful creature i've seen in a long time. Well, that's not true either. Cindy, the checkout girl at the local grocery store is, but Susan's #2.

It's a veritable jungle at my house. We have so many spiders it is impossible to reach the front door without meeting a new one. This is where Susan has decided to set up shop and hunt. Did i mention she's gorgeous? The images below will give you an idea of how big she is. The little red dots are where she's anchored her web, and there is also an anchor line that goes from the web all the way to the ground. She is an architect to rival Frank Lloyd Wright. I watched her tonight. She didn't mind. She just hung there letting out line until it wafted across the driveway, hooking onto the other side of the house (anchor point 2). Patiently waiting and waiting. Everynow and then she'd look down at me as if to say, "If you're just going to stand there, could ya grab a hold of the other end of this?" She's so funny.

Anchor point 1 is on the right hand side of this photo, looking toward the front door. Anchor point 2 is on the left, near the end of the photo.

This is a photo from the reverse angle.

This is looking up at her toward anchor point 1 after she'd woken up from her diurnal nap.

A close up of her hair-do.

And here she is in all her glory.

** Veterans **

Have you thanked a veteran today?

You can be as cool as me if and have a sticker like that if you click here. No, it's not my site.

** Iron Maiden **

Stolen from Tanya: The point of this excersize is to choose your favorite band and answer the following questions using the title of on of it's songs as the answer.

Are you male or female:
Alexander the Great
Describe yourself:
Only the Good Die Young
How do some people feel about you:
Losfer Words
How do you feel about yourself:
Sea of Madness
Describe your current significant other:
Innocent Exile
Describe where you want to be:
22 Acacia Ave
Describe what you want to be:
Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
Describe how you live:
Die with Your Boots On
Describe how you love:
Run Silent Run Deep
Share a few words of wisdom:
The Evil That Men Do (Lives On and On)

posted by Rik at 21:19 - 0 comments

Ten Things i hated as a kid, but like now:

1. Tomatoes
2. Girls
3. Analog Watches
4. Sleeping In
5. Beer/Bourbon
6. 5 o'clock news
7. Church
8. Asparagus
9. My Brothers
10. Hot Babysitters

Ten Things i loved as a kid, but hate now:

1. Driving
2. Celebrities
3. MTV
4. Carrot Top
5. Pineapple on pizza
6. Snow/Rain/Cold
7. Cartoons
8. Crowds
9. Cream Cheese icing
10. Hippies

** You're Gay **

If you have a chihuahua, and it's name is Baby, and you buy it "outfits" to wear; You're gay. Just accept it. If your girlfriend has ever asked you, sincerely, if you are gay; You're gay.

What's amazing to me and my co-worker, is that her daughter is dating this guy. She's asked him the question . . . He has the feyg dog, named it Baby, and makes it wear "outfits." All signs are pointing to 'mo. I just laugh and type, she's worried about him becoming her son-in-law.

posted by Rik at 23:54 - 0 comments